Melancholy...

Ok, I rarely get into the funk, but I'm there. I try my hardest to be the happiest, most flexible and cheerful person that I can be. But lately it's been hard and it's actually getting harder. I'm not sure if it is the letdown of the Holidays, or now that the Soaring Eagles Project is in its completion phase or what. I just feel like my bucket is empty . In my personal life is where I'm being hit the hardest. I do and do and do for my family without anything in return. I used to get the hugs and thank yous all of the time, now I don't even get a smile. I've been reduced to nothing but a servant in my own house. I know a lot of that is my own fault, but now I'm trying to undo it and it's making everything that much harder. My children are always fighting, my husband is always gone and I am just there to pick up the messes, pay the bills, run to lessons, and try to referee. I am also extremely preoccupied with my weight. I'm trying desperately, but in the beginning, until I start to see some loss, it's disheartening.

So what am I going to do about it? Well for starters I'm working like a maniac to do some charity knitting. The first foray is for Kate's Caps. It's a great hat project for fun fur caps for children who are cancer patients in Boston. I cast on for one last night and was done within an hour. I've started another one today. I still have a few gifts and such looming overhead, but I'm not too worried about it right now.

Also I'm going to work on the following principles:

1. Prevent bucket dipping - ask yourself whether you are adding to or taking from another bucket.
2. Shine a light on what is right - don't focus on the negative, spend time, energy and attention of what is right.
3. Make best friends - great relationships lead to increased satisfaction
4. Give unexpectedly - the gifts can be material, trust or respect, but given unexpectedly increases their bucket filling power
5. Reverse the Golden rule - "Do unto others as they would have you do unto them".

To do list by February 15th,

• fingerless mittens for my mother's birthday.
• finish up Lucie's crochet edging
• fingerless mittens for another relative.
• hats for Kate
• 2 more red scarfs for Norma.
• My stashbusting project of a Laptop bag (my first creation for ME!)

Sorry that you had to listen to the whining. Today is full of teaching, meetings, running around to dance and basketball practices, etc. I needed to get it out or it was going to poision my day.